5 Lessons in Parenting
We hit 5 years yesterday yall!
If you’re into astrology at all, my baby (who’s not such a baby anymore) has a birthday during Gemini season. Since my rising is the same sign, I like to call him my little Gemini twin because I don’t think that’s just a coincidence that it is that way. Actually, the fact that it is that way is basically why I wanted to write this particular piece. Mama’s had a lot of learning to do. In honor of my little guy making 5 years yesterday, I wanted to share some of the things I’ve learned along the way that probably would have taken me a lot longer to realize had it not been for him.
Plus, it’s just something about FIVE years that makes me feel like a new level has been unlocked. I mean, it has right?. My guy will be out of daycare and walking through the halls of an actual elementary (please pray for me because Jesus be the peace that calms all of my nerves and anxiety around this 🥴 PRAY FOR TEXAS). We’re about to start a whole new chapter together as mom and son and if I could just hold a moment of appreciation for myself just off the fact that we’ve made it this far, ALIVE, happy, healthy amongst all the things that I thought I wasn’t cut out for.. CHIIIIILE. I feel like I’m going from bronze to silver doing this whole mommy thing because if you haven’t heard me say it before, you’re about to now: AIN’T NO RULE BOOK TO THIS SHIT ok! It’s that statement alone that gets me through most things in life. I mean, we are all out here just figuring things out as we move through each trial of life. It’s like we want to make sure that we do all the right things to make sure we don’t screw up our kids even though a lot of times we don’t exactly feel like we’re strong enough or capable enough to do so. While also in addition to learning, mimicking, and altering some of the methods we’ve observed from the parental figures we had growing up.
So if there’s anything I’ve learned throughout my process as I’ve officially completed 5 whole years of parenting as of yesterday, it’d be these 5 things that follow.
Patience is a virtue — not only with your children but with yourself.
Be prepared to give any and all participating parties space for grace because 9 times out of 10 something will always go unexpected, and with small children who are learning all the things and testing their limits as they discover their own independence, these learning challenges are VERY repetitive until they are able to fully grasp that concept, which they totally will at some point. Even if it takes longer than others. And honestly, same for the parents, because some of us are just as head headed ☕️
Support is EVERYTHING because it truly takes a village to raise children. That’s why I’m grateful to have come from a household of people that make me feel super supported throughout my endeavors. Not everyone is equipped with family they can turn to in times of need, so it’s good to have friends and other peers in the same boat as us. I know a lot of us may have some social anxiety and have a hard time reaching out, but just as long as you have at least 2 to 3 solid people around you to help you stay lifted, then everything else will flow as it should. However, I will always encourage community. It’s so important and makes a world of difference. I have coaching services to help in this area if this is something you struggle with.
Remember what I said about holding space for grace for yourself? Well, I want you to keep in mind that there’s only so much time in a day to complete all of the tasks that need your attention. While the majority of it does go to your kids, a fraction of it should always be dedicated to yourself. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
Words to live by: I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.
Everything that has been accomplished and completed is truly enough for the day. Don’t put that extra pressure on the things you weren’t able to get to. The sun will continue to rise in the morning regardless.
Learn any and every way that exists to support the immune system of you and your child. Based on the way this whole pandemic has gone and experiencing how careless children are in the midst of it, this is imperative. Kids are just downright gross sometimes, then when they get around other kids swapping germs and stuff 🤦🏾♀️ and when your child gets sick, you will most likely get sick and when the whole household gets sick, forget about it! So do what you can to keep yourself and your babies in tip-top shape.
Let go of the expectations. Anything worth having takes time to obtain, maintain, and sustain. My own mom told me this and it’s stuck like glue ever since, as well as this — nobody is going to think about your child the way you would or would expect someone else to. Not even their own other parent. So just do your part the best way you are able to. Set boundaries and stand firm in them. Believe in something bigger than yourself, because you are supported in this parenting journey by the universe, God, whoever, whatever you identify with. You were chosen for this so trust your process knowing that everything will happen exactly the way it needs to which is for your own good.
I’d love to hear some of the things you’ve learned through your parenting experience! Leave a comment or DM and let’s chat about it!
Xo,
B 🤎
